How to Interview a Wedding Planner (What to Ask, What Not to)

Most couples walk into these calls without a roadmap. Here's yours.

Hiring a wedding planner is one of the first — and most important — decisions you'll make. Get it right, and every decision after it gets easier. Get it wrong, and you'll feel it for the next 12 to 18 months.

One of the most common questions we get on a consult is: what should we be asking? They're nervous, they're excited, they're trying to figure out if they like this person. So they end up asking questions that either don't tell them much, or that — without realizing it — ask the planner to do real work for free.

The real point of the interview

Beyond the specific questions, you're trying to answer one thing: Is this the teammate I want to collaborate with daily for the coming months/years? Do they have the experience I lack? does this person get it?

Do they understand what you're trying to create? Do they push back in ways that feel helpful rather than dismissive? Can you trust them with your intimate details like family dynamics and money? Do they seem like someone you'd want to be in the trenches with on the hardest day of the planning process?

The logistics are learnable. The relationship is the thing. Trust your gut, but give it good information to work with first.

Here's how to run a planner interview that actually gives you what you need.

Prepare

• Decide your budget- no one really has “no budget” everyone has a number where their or their family’s comfort on spending hits a ceiling- what’s that number?

• Decide your guest count- this will help determine which venues make sense & what budget makes sense based on your goals

• Date or flexible date options

• Priorities- rank your top 4 things you want to focus on being extra amazing. Where you’ll spend money on making things more special than standard. 

• What’s important about your planning experience/ the planner you work with

What to ask

Start with the question most couples are afraid to ask first:

DO	Ask what a realistic budget looks like for a wedding in this area — with them specifically.
DO	Ask what they genuinely love about wedding planning.
DO	Ask which venues they think would fit what you're describing.

The budget question is the most important one, and it's the one couples most often save for last or avoid entirely. Don't. A good planner will be straight with you. They'll tell you what things actually cost in their market, what a realistic range looks like for the kind of wedding you're describing, and where the biggest variables are. If a planner hedges or won't give you real numbers in a first conversation, that's information.

Asking what they love about the work tells you a lot. You want someone who lights up — who talks about the relationships, the creativity, the problem-solving, the moment when a day comes together. If the answer is vague or feels rehearsed, pay attention to that too.

And asking about venues early is smart. Planners are ultimately matchmakers  A planner who knows their market well will ask you a few questions about your priorities and immediately have two or three venues in mind. That kind of instinct only comes from real experience — and it tells you they're actually listening to you, not just pitching their standard package.

A good planner will be straight with you about money. If they won't, that's information.

What not to ask

This is where well-meaning couples sometimes put planners & themselves in an awkward spot — not out of bad intent, but because they don't realize what they're asking for.

DON'T	Ask them to name their recommended vendors. This is asking for a curated, experience-backed list that represents years of working relationships — for free.
DON'T	Ask them to build you a budget in the consultation. Creating a detailed, realistic budget is a core part of what a planner does. It's a service, not a preview.

Vendor recommendations aren't just a list. A planner's preferred vendors are the result of years of working relationships — knowing who delivers on time, who's a pleasure on a hard day, who will go above and beyond when something goes sideways. When you ask a planner to just name their photographers or florists in a free consultation, you're asking them to hand over something they've earned. Most won't, and they shouldn't have to.

Same goes for budgets. A realistic, detailed wedding budget requires understanding your priorities, your guest count, your venue, your style, your family dynamics, and about a dozen other variables. Building one takes time and expertise. It's one of the first things a planner does with a new client — which is to say, it's something they do after you hire them.

Asking for it in a consultation is a little like calling a lawyer for a free case review and asking them to write the brief while you're on the phone.

J. Lemons Events  ·  Aspen, Colorado  ·  jlemonsevents.com