A Tuesday Kind of Love

You know that Etta James song, "A Sunday Kind of Love"? The one where she sings about wanting a love that lasts past Saturday night? That's the energy we're going for here, except we’re taking it one step further.

We want to talk about Tuesday love.

Not the Instagram story kind of love. Not the grand gesture, look-what-my-partner-did kind of love. The kind of love that shows up on a random Tuesday in March when nothing special is happening and life is just...life.

Valentine's Day is Amateur Hour

It's the relationship equivalent of New Year's Eve at a restaurant. Everyone's there because they're supposed to be, not because they want to be. The flowers cost three times as much. The restaurants are packed with people who never go out. Everything feels forced and performative.

If your relationship only feels special on February 14th, we need to talk.

The couples I work with who have the strongest relationships? They're the ones buying each other coffee on a Wednesday morning. They're the ones who text in the middle of a workday just to say they saw something that made them think of the other person. They're the ones who surprise each other with takeout on a Thursday night because one of them had a long week.

That's a Tuesday present. That's the good stuff.

The Difference Between Sunday Love and Tuesday Love

Sunday love is easy. Sunday love is brunch reservations and afternoon walks and the feeling that everything is perfect because you have nothing else to do.

Tuesday love is harder. Tuesday love is choosing each other when you're tired, when you have a million things on your to-do list, when there's nothing particularly romantic about the day ahead.

Tuesday love is remembering how your partner takes their coffee. It's picking up their favorite snack at the grocery store without being asked. It's checking in about the big meeting they mentioned last week. It's the small, unremarkable moments that actually build a life together.

When I'm planning weddings, I can always tell which couples have Tuesday love. They're the ones who don't need every detail to be perfect because they know the day is just one day. The marriage is the point, not the wedding.

They're also the ones who are kinder to each other during the stressful moments of planning. Because they've already practiced being kind to each other on all the boring Tuesdays leading up to this.

Why This Matters for Your Wedding

Here's what I tell my couples: your wedding is going to be a Sunday. It's going to be beautiful and special and memorable.

But your planning and marriage is going to be mostly Tuesdays.

The couples who understand this build weddings that reflect their actual relationship, not some aspirational version of it. They skip the things that don't matter to them. They prioritize what actually makes them feel connected. They don't stress about impressing people who won't be there for the Tuesday moments.

Your wedding should feel like the best version of your everyday life together, not like a performance you're putting on for other people.

The Best Kind of Proposal

You want to know my favorite proposal stories? They're never the ones that happen on Valentine's Day or at a fancy restaurant with a photographer hiding in the bushes.

They're the ones that happen on a random weeknight. The ones where someone just couldn't wait anymore because they were doing something completely ordinary and thought, "I want to do this ordinary thing with you for the rest of my life."

Those are the proposals that come from Tuesday love. The kind of love that doesn't need a holiday or a special occasion to be real.

Valentine’s is still great!

I'm not anti-Valentine's Day. If you want to celebrate it, celebrate it. But if your relationship is only romantic on Valentine's Day, Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries, you're missing out on 361 other days where love could be showing up.

The strongest relationships I see are built on the accumulation of small, consistent moments. The Tuesday texts. The Wednesday check-ins. The Thursday nights where you cook dinner together and talk about nothing important.

That's the love that lasts. That's the love worth building a wedding around. That's the love I'm interested in celebrating.

So skip the overpriced Valentine's Day reservation this year. Order in, open a good bottle of wine, and practice being in love on a random Tuesday instead.

Because that's the kind of love that actually makes it to Sunday.